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View Full Version : Lending affects our relations!!!!is it really so?


Lilly
01-25-2010, 04:07 PM
Hello guys!
It's my first post here!) Thank you very much for sharing your experience and there is so much helpful information here. I never borrowed money, maybe just few times and i paid it back in few hours. As for big sums- never!! I found out that money is not only an integral part of our life but also i huge gaping hole in our relations. All good relations can be affected by money transactions. I want to share my experience and to asl for advice...
I' my trying to do everything by myself, without any financial support from the other side, and if even I wanted this help, i would never get it... I lend money to everybody, who needs help. My problem is that I can't say "no" to my friend or a family memeber when they are in need, but when saying "Yes" it's a big risk to loose both relashions and money. It is only natural that family members might want to help each other out by lending money if they are able. It's ok when lending them, but not when getting it back. They don't pay it back at all, they all think that saying "thanks" is fully enough to forget about it. I try to lend money when being sure that a person will pay back or i even don't wait for money back.
I hope that some day all good things will turn back from the side i never expected, but.... i don't want to stay alone in few years without anything and anybody.
Few weeks ago one friend of mine asked me for a huge sum of money, I gave it to him, I had both his numbers i knew the place he lived, we knew each other for 10 years already of course i was sure that he was reliable enough. He asked me 1 week time to pay back. two months already passed, all his contacts are not current anymore, he disappeared. The next week onwards from the day i'd given money, both his numbers were out of service.
I need my money back!! no documents, nothing's left what may prove that he really did borrow. What should i do? To loose trust in reliability of the whole world? not to lend money to anybody?
Now I need my money back to open my own business i've been dreaming about for all my life. Just few weeks left to make decision, i've been living for..... . Thanks for reading, it's much better now))

trent
01-25-2010, 08:01 PM
I don't lend money to friends and family usually, however in the rare cases that I do, I accept the fact that the debt might never be paid back.

Rickson9
01-28-2010, 04:58 AM
I have loaned money to friends and yes, I would pursue legal remedies if necessary. A friend who cannot abide by an contracted agreement is not worth keeping imo.

Canadian
01-28-2010, 07:37 PM
I've loaned money to close family several times and I would do it again without hesitation. As for friends I've never done that.

Lilly
02-10-2010, 03:54 PM
Thanks a lot for you thoughts guys! you encouraged me a lot!
I received one answer, rather interesting but I've never thought about that and never used it before. I talking about agreement. It reminds me the situation with marriage agreement, some people think that it's very reliable and it's needed for people not to be dealing with money affairs between people in marriage, but the other part is against, cause it's not morally ethic, as when you document your financial status and money affairs gives an idea this marriage won't prolong too much time, just before ahead you give a doubt to the marriage. The statistics shows us that those who did it, are more confident and the marriages are also strong, so it doesn't influence their relations. So what about the same situation as for lending money and loans, should we make it documented anyway? I think it's awesome. You are sure that you will get your money back according to the agreement.
Please, share your ideas;)
thanx

Anita
06-03-2010, 10:09 PM
That's a very sound and prudent idea for friends, not family members imo. You can also charge them interest rates (lower than banks do though). :D